The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have — The Latibule



Do you love yourself?

Is it just me, or does this question always feel so heavy? It has taken deep reflection for me to actually understand what the question is asking. To truly love and be in love with myself is a concept I am just starting to wrap my head around as I progress through my mid-20s.

Often I say the words “I love myself”,  but do I really? 

I am not talking about the Instagram guru ‘put on a face mask once and share on your stories’ kind of self-love- although skincare is important. Neither am I talking about the ‘self-centered, conceited, trample on others for your own gain’ kind of self-love.

I am talking about self love that is deeper and profound. 

As better described by Nikita Mordeveloping a core set of values, an unshakeable foundation, a deep, deep intimacy that can come only from knowing yourself ”. 

Or, as described by Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D, “ a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

So I’ll ask again, do you love yourself?

My answer to this would have been “no” if you had asked me a few years ago. Today, my answer is that I am re-learning how to do that.

I’m learning that self-love is not something that happens overnight and also not a task that can ever result in full completion. I’m learning that it is not a one size fits all formula. Unlike popular belief, no amount of bubble baths, positive affirmations, walks, or skincare routine will automatically make you unconditionally love yourself. 

I am learning that there will still be days when I am frustrated with my imperfections. There will be days I look in the mirror and find something about my body to pick apart. Self-love does not magically take these away. 

I’m learning that self-love is more than just the feeling of appreciation towards oneself. It is about action and commitment towards knowing yourself and developing a healthy relationship with who you are. 

I am learning to free myself from chasing the fleeting feeling that I thought was self-love but rather chase the desire to stay committed to my physical, psychological, social and spiritual wellbeing.

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